Apr 27, 2018

We have moved!

The time has come for Shimmer and Glow to move on to a new and cosy location! Can't wait to read more of what we have on offer? You'll find us at 
Can't wait to see you there! 

Apr 21, 2018

A new reason, a new season, a new lifetime.

It's been almost twelve months to the day since I stopped by my wee online haven to post an update. With the evolution of social media my little blog has been pushed aside for other platforms to blossom. And not only has online communication changed, so too has my life! 

You see, in the 12 months since I last chatted, our family has grow to three! I am now Mama to Jack, a three month old bambino who has stolen my heart, lightened my days and shortened my sleep! 

Jack's entrance to the world was complex but not distressing (four attempts to induce, followed by an emergency cesarean.) And since his arrival we have been doing our best at this parenting gig. Being a Mama is causing me to reassess so much about who I am and who I want my son to see me as in the future. Not to mention how I shape his little world, melding and blending his experience so that he is able to grow into an upstanding adult.  It is certainly a one-day-at-a-time thing, which, although clichéd, is exactly how things are.

Twelve months ago I was celebrating thirty kilograms lost. Today I am twenty kilos back to where I started. (Approximately 15kg under my heaviest weight, so that's something to embrace!) I put on baby weight, and also salt-and-vinegar-chip-weight. I didn't notice the point where food aversions steered me away from lower carb foods, but by the end of my pregnancy I was well and truly devoted to the biscuit (and cake, and pasta and all added sugar). It's been harder to switch back to a low carb/high fat diet this time around. I'm not to sure why, but I can surmise that it could have something to do with how tired I am and how rewarding instant sugars are to the system in the short term. So, in an effort to be my best self, I'm back on the wagon. With a caveat, that I do still have occasional carbs (last nights lasagna and garlic bread case in point.) I'm also researching intermittent fasting as a way of positively impacting my insulin levels for the long term, but I'm not sure as yet if this will have any impact on my eating venture.

In other news, my desire to develop my passion project grows, so there may be big things in the works for Junior Crafternoon. (Nap-times permitting.) Also, in an exciting turn of events for my dermis, I'm having my French-fail wrist tattoo lasered off to make way for a new/old-school tattoo to take its place. I'll be back to tell you all about it, hopefully next week!

Until then, 


P.S. Can you believe my poor neglected blog is TEN YEARS OLD later this year? Ten! Soon it will be drinking and voting!

Apr 27, 2017

Dieting update

Hi there! It's been a while. Hope you are well and happy! Just thought I would report in and update you on how I have been travelling, shrinking-wise. I'm happy to report that I am 400 grams off a major goal, but still far from my overall goal, which is ok! This is a journey, and it won't happen overnight. April is a month full of celebrations, so I have had more carbs this month than I have had in the previous few. But it's all good! My blood sugar is awesome, and when I visited the GP she reported that my type two diabeetles is now in remission! This is certainly something to celebrate! My blood pressure is also good! So this diet business is really helping heal some of the damage I have done to my body. There is still an issue of some reproductive health issues that need to be addressed that may or may not be influenced by the extra weight I am carrying. But I'm on the right track, and have seen some amazing results to date!
There will be cake this week for another birthday celebration (and I will enjoy it!) but then it's right back on the wagon, onward and downward!
I'll report back with more progress reports as they happen.
Hope you have a lovely week! 

Jan 23, 2017

8 Week Blood Sugar Diet: Round 2.

I have been a little lax on my Blood Sugar Diet blogging. So here's what's happened so far! 

Commencement of round 2 of the 8 Week Blood Sugar Diet: 

I had a lovely festive period. How about you? I ate many delicious meals. And over just a couple of weeks, I put on 2.3kg. Not a bad effort, really! On January first I resumed low carb eating. But I did have a little bit of a break so that I could enjoy a delicious afternoon tea with a delightful friend. (mmm, sandwiches and slice and melting moments!) Knowing I would want to eat those last few festive foods before resuming the 8 Week Blood Sugar Diet, I decided to recommence on the 9th of January.

I weighed in, I'm very pleased to announce my results, actually! I have managed to lose all of the festive weight I had gained, plus one hundred grams! So my weight loss January 1-9 was 2.4kg. Not bad, really!

So I'm back on the diet for another 8 weeks. I'm craving sugar, which is probably just a passing phase. I've been researching meals. I've hunted down a whole bunch of low carb, family friendly meals. I've cooked dishes with zucchini for me and pasta for the boys. I'm trying to make this work for everyone, and cook meals not just for myself, but for the whole family. It just makes more sense.

About 75% of me is looking forward to this next round on the diet. I'm slightly anxious about my low-calorie goals, I think I have forgotten just how easy I found 800 calories in the last round. It's really not that hard when you make sure to factor in plenty of good fats. At least, I suppose I must say- it was not really that hard for me. Compared to other diets I have done in the past.

I'm still struggling with the concept of 'good fats'. I didn't realise just how indoctrinated I was into the 'low fat' mentality. I'm in a bunch of groups on facebook for low carb dieting, and every now and then someone will say 'but isn't that bad for you?' My first response has often times been 'well, yeah! They do have a point!' But then I realise that in fact the tale of low fat is in fact just an old fashioned yarn. I've discovered Diet Doctor, which has some great resources regarding LCHF (Low-Carb High Fat) dieting and keto (ketogenic) living. There is also a bunch of interesting resources on fasting and diet for diabetes treatment.

The end of week 2:  
So Today was weigh in day. Let me first catch you up with my weight loss for week 1. I lost 2.4kg! Hurray for this! Go me! But for week two I had a bit of a battle with heavy whipping cream. See, I love cream. I love it so much. Cream and I go way back. I had subbed out my milky coffees for cream filled ones, as I was concerned about my carb intake with milk, and thought that I would take the keto approach and devote myself to the good ol' heavy whip. HOWEVER I am no good wth moderation where it comes to cream. Especially not the thick variety. I ate spoonfuls (and spoonfuls) of the stuff. It was an incredible edible comfort. The scales were not impressed with my efforts though. So that weigh in that I mentioned? I gained 400g this week. Not my finest hour. So while milk may be the higher carb option, I feel that right now it is the most workable option for beverages, as I won't binge on it. Maybe I can reassess my cream intake when I have lost a bit more weight? But for now it is just too much of a temptation.

So back on the wagon. I'm struggling to stay within my calorie goal of 800 cals most days, I need to pay more attention to the amount of food I eat for dinner. The family low-carb dinners seem to be working a treat! And I'm enjoying feeding everyone nourishing meals. Last night I subbed out pasta for zucchini, and I must admit I was staring at everyone else's dinner! But on an average night where the whole meal is low-carb I seem to be doing ok.

I've got this!

Dec 6, 2016

The final weigh in, week 8.

To say I am proud of myself is an understatement. I have almost 100% successfully stayed on a diet for 8 weeks, and the results speak for themselves.

I thought I would go on a longwinded diatribe (Wait! That's not the right word! But I can't quite put my finger on the word I am searching for! Alas it is too early in the morning for my poor brain!) about my success, but I feel my thoughts are best kept short and sweet. So here are my final results for this round of the 8 Week Blood Sugar Diet:

Down 0.7kg (approx 1.5lbs) for week 8
Running total: down 13kgs (28.7lbs) in 8 weeks.
Weight loss total: down 24.6kg (An epic 54.2lbs!)

I'm taking a few weeks off, and of course I will go a bit nuts over the festive period, then it's back on track in the new year for another 8 weeks. So watch this space! There is more shrinking to come! Thank you for joining me on this journey! 

Nov 28, 2016

Week 7 weigh in

Can you believe it's the end of week seven already? This diet has absolutely flown by. I must admit, I have been a bit down this week, and in response I have been a bit complacent with my eating. I ate too many artificially sweetened lollies (What a disaster for my poor body!) and I ate extra cheese and 2 carrots on top of my allocated food for yesterday. For week 8, though, I am back on track! I'm going to try and get the best results possible out of the last week of the diet. I've just planned into MyFitnessPal broccoli cheese soup for tonight, which sounds like delicious comfort food, if ever I heard it! I'll post the recipe soon, if it is a taste success, like I hope it is! It's full of creamy, cheesy fats, so it should keep me nice and full. And it brings me right into the 800 calories mark, too. (Well, 808 calories for my hommus and carrot brunch and my cheesy broccoli soup dinner.)

I've been testing my blood sugar levels, and am happy to report that they have been constantly falling right in the healthy range. Which is absolutely brilliant news! I can keep this up!

As I mentioned, I ate sugar-free lollies this week. While eating some I discovered that I still have an insatiable hunger for sweet things, and still struggle with moderation. Baby steps, though. I think it is best if I just don't have sweet or sweet-style foods available in the house, I still have a tendency to over do it. It's helpful that I am aware of this, I think it will keep me on track in the future.

I'm flabbergastered that this is the second last time I will be reporting in on this round of the 8 Week Blood Sugar Diet. But here goes:

Down 1.5kg (approx 3.3lbs) for week 7
Running total: down 12.3kgs (27lbs) in 7 weeks.
Weight loss total: down 23.9kg (An epic 52.7lbs!)

Onward and downward! Xx

Nov 21, 2016

Week six weigh in

This past week on the diet has gone quite averagely. My food intake, average. My losses, average. I did make a delicious creamy mushroom chicken dish (my own recipe!) Of which I will take a photo when I duplicate it. If it turns out ok! So there's not much to write home about today. Things are going swimmingly! I have been developing the future plans I mentioned last week, I'm just so super excited! Things are looking bright!

Without further ado: 

Down 1.3kg (approx 2.8lbs) for week 6
Running total: down 10.8kgs (23.8lbs) in 6 weeks.
Weight loss total: down 22.4kg

I can't believe that I only have two weeks left to go! This diet is absolutely flying by. And I'm still enjoying it! Who would have thought? I did struggle a bit when H made my current favourite dish for dinner- pea pasta. I had my low carb, low cal cheesy cauliflower instead, and tried not to mope too much.

I'm super excited to see how I go for the last two weeks of the diet! Onward and downward!


Nov 14, 2016

Week five weigh in

This week I have been abuzz with creative energy and plans for the future. I've got some exciting ideas brewing, and this could mean a new direction for my life. Not small stuff, by any means! I wish my ideas were ready to share, but alas they are still in their infancy, just waiting for me to cherish them and love them and grow them. Exciting times!

After my gain of 200 grams in week four I wasn't so excited this week as I planned and tracked my meals. I didn't have the same motivation and desire to succeed as I have had in other weeks. But by jingle, I was still going to do it! And do it I did! My numbers are looking great this week, check them out:

Weigh in tally:
Down 2.4kg (approx 5.3lbs) for week 5
Running total: down 9.5kgs (20.9lbs) in 5 weeks.
Weight loss total: down 21.1kg

Hurray! I must take a moment to celebrate the fact that I have knocked more than 20kgs off my weight! That is an impressive achievement, and one I should celebrate today. 

I can't believe I'm going into week six already! Time has just flown. I actually think this may be the longest I have ever stuck to one weight loss regime (save the time I ate wedding cake, but let's never speak of that again! Though it was delicious...) When I started out I thought that the 8 weeks would be a long slog. But so far they have flown by. I'm not sure I am ready for only two more weeks of this diet! Is it odd that I'm almost excited for the time I pick up and do another 8 weeks after the New Year?

Onward and downward!

Nov 7, 2016

Week four weigh in

I can't believe I'm already half way done with the 8 Week Blood Sugar diet! It has absolutely been the most enjoyable and satisfying diet I have ever been on.

This weekend gone one of my adorable baby brothers married his blushing bride. It was a stunning event in small botanical gardens, followed by- get this- a reception in the building where, six years ago, H and I first laid eyes on one another out the front of! What are the chances? The bride and groom looked captivating, and their two sons looked brilliantly dapper. I almost ugly cried as my wee nephew walked down the aisle, and from that moment on, I was pretty choked up. It was a beautiful wedding, for a beautiful couple.

Diet-wise I started out swimmingly. There was food I could eat, which was brilliant! I fell in love with some caper coated chicken skewers. I avoided the mini brioche burger buns! (Such hipster food, no?) But then this happened:


A beautiful naked tiered cake, I think it was caramel mud? It was delicious. You would think I wouldn't know this, considering I am on a low carb diet and of course I didn't eat any. Right? Oh, but of course I did! It's not every day one of your brothers gets married! So I indulged. It was delectable. I had a small wedge. Wafer thin. (Not quite, but by the end of the day I could have been in a Monty Python sketch.) And today I am feeling it. I am exhausted! I feel like I have the 'carb flu' all over again. That will learn me! So I'm back on the wagon. 4 more weeks of the Blood Sugar Diet, then a trip to our favourite Japanese restaurant, then back to being on a low carb diet until Christmas! It's only 49 days until Christmas, that's 49 days I can respect my body and pay attention to the fuel that I offer it. I've got this! Onward and downward!

Weigh in tally:
Up 0.2kg (approx 0/44lbs) for week 4
Running total: down 7.1kgs (15.65lbs) in 4 weeks.
Weight loss total: down 18.7kg

So there was a little gain this week. I'm disappointed, but I did have a day off, essentially. I'm back on track now! 

Oct 31, 2016

Week three check in

I'm going to jump straight to it:

Down 0.9kg (approx 2lbs) for week 3
Running total: down 7.3kgs (16.3lbs) in 3 weeks.
Weight loss total: down 18.9kg

I'm not so jazzed about this weeks weight loss, but I did have a bit of a cheat day on Saturday preparing these early Halloween treats:

Monster apples: cashew butter (blitzed cashews with coconut oil) sunflower seeds for teeth and eyes, strawberry slices for the tongue. Apples soaked in lemon juice to avoid discolouration.

Devilled bugs: Devilled eggs (egg yolks, whole egg mayo, dijon mustard, vinegar, salt and pepper) with kalamata olive spiders and ants. Delicious. 

I'm wondering if I just had too much sugar when I ate excess apple and strawberry? But I don't want to look at fresh fruit as the bad guy. Onward and downward, though! Maybe I will have more success this week!

Oct 24, 2016

Week 2 weigh in

So I have now been on the 8 Week Blood Sugar diet for two weeks. And I am absolutely loving it! I have been enjoying the meals so very much, and I'm super proud of myself for sticking the course. I have been tired (quite tired! Is it the 'carb flu'?) but I have been doing well sticking to my food intake and exercise. I'm totally pumped to see how I go in the next six weeks. I've got this!

I jumped on the scales this morning, and this is what they told me:

Down 2.9kg (6.3lbs) for week 2
Running total: down 6.4kgs (14lbs) in 2 weeks.
Weight loss total: down 18kg

So jazzed!

Meal of the week would have to be cheesy cauliflower. I'm still coming to terms with the idea that fats in foods are not the devil. I'm loving eating fats, but I feel guilty with every mouthful. I can't wait until this slowly morphs into a proud acceptance of a nice amount of healthy fats!

Oct 17, 2016

Week 1 weigh in

I was so glad when I stepped off the scale today. So glad. I made a lovely loss of 3.5kg (7.7lb) this week, week one on the 8 week Blood Sugar Diet. How good is that? I'm so jazzed, and excited to keep this diet up!

But in the hours since I have managed to put myself in a terribly destructive mood. I have prepped some dinners (bring on the chicken lime laksa!) and also made a baked cheesecake. The cheesecake is a from a recipe I found online, and is a low carb version, using stevia instead of sugar, and with a blitzed cashew and macadamia nut base. I've never made a baked cheesecake before. Are they meant to start off really runny? This one did, and I'm not sure if I put in the wrong quantities, or if it is the recipe, or that is just how it is meant to be. But that's how it was, nevertheless. So I have been stressing over this dang cheesecake, having a go of myself for wasting some very expensive ingredients, convinced that I am a bad cook. But I am actually not a bad cook at all. Mostly I say this because I know good flavour when I taste it, and my cooking never seems to fail. (Hey, how have I managed to get so heavy? My delicious cooking, that's how!) But maybe I have failed this time? Peeping back into the oven I wonder if in fact I was just being a little dramatic. The cheesecake resembles a baked custard of sorts, and does not look too runny now. How quick I am to mentally bash myself up without actually having any set evidence that I have done something wrong.

So I won't know how the cheesecake actually tastes until tomorrow, for my Dad's birthday. I'm crossing all my fingers that it is delicious. Or at least tasty. I think for now I have to refocus my silly brain on the fact that I lost 3.5kg. Three point five fricken kilograms! Let's celebrate the win and not focus on the maybe flop.

I've got this, yeah?   
It must be time for delectable dinner!

Image from the Internet Archive, via Flickr. pp462 of "St. Nicholas" (1873)

Oct 10, 2016

Day ONE.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. It's an awfully trite statement, but it is also true. Today I started on The 8 Week Blood Sugar Diet. And for the first time ever, I am actually excited about this new (diet) path! It is quite an unusual feeling, finding joy in a weight loss program. But this one feels like a winner.

What is the Blood Sugar Diet? In a nutshell, it is a low calorie, low carbohydrate, Mediterranean style diet. Essentially you are restricted to 800 calories per day. Which isn't much food, if you see my sample MyFitnessPal log below:

I've planned my week ahead to help with the grocery shopping. This is Thursday's snapshot.

(While I think of it, lets become MyFitnessPal friends! I'm hanging out here.)

It's not much food, but it will be enough. And that is the most important thing.  The diet has been popularised and promoted by author Dr Michael Mosley. Mosley, himself a diagnosed type 2 diabetic, has thoroughly researched the diet, and has the backing of doctors and professors the world over. (I feel this needs a footnote, but you'll find many supporters listed throughout the book, I promise!)

When I first heard of the calorie restriction side of the diet (the crux of the diet, really) I was sceptical. We have been educated, 'crash diets don't work!' and 'you'll just put the weight back on, and some!'. But the text really allayed my fears. It's absolutely worth a read if you are struggling with insulin resistance, type two diabetes, poly-cystic ovarian syndrome, or excess weight. I'm not saying that this book will change your life (maybe it will), but what I AM saying is that this book confronts some long ingrained 'science' and offers new, sometimes alarming facts. What we have been taught to be healthy is actually making us sick. So even if you don't decide to spend 8 weeks on this plan, maybe you will alter your current diet to reflect this new information. I'm not a diet pusher, but I really see that this diet has benefits for me. And if it might work for me, it also may work for others.

On the back of the book is a lovely red banner: AVERAGE WEIGHT LOSS 14KG IN 8 WEEKS. Challenge accepted, Mosley, challenge accepted! I'm going to aim for a 14 kilo loss in these next 8 weeks. This number is ever so slightly confronting to me. I still have that old information running through my head about the safety of 'diets like this'. But after cramming this book into my noggin over the past two days, I have come to realise that it diet offers exactly what my body needs! I'm going to say goodbye to my 'pregnant' belly, and say hello to less fat around my struggling internal organs. I think they will be thanking me for it!

For the first week I have not been very brave, I'm going with simple foods, and not really all that much cooking. As I plod along I plan to incorporate more variety into the foods I eat. Unless something in particular is really working for me, because I don't mind repeating meals that I love.

So that's that, then!

You can buy the book here, if you are interested. (Not an affiliate link, I just want to share the gospel according to Mosley.)

NB; For those of you playing along at home, you might be concerned about my blood pressure. Never fear, possums! I will be monitoring it daily, and I will certainly book in to see my GP if there are any changes.

Book cover obtained for review purposes. Published by Short Books, 2015.
Strawberries obtained from Flickr Creative Commons. Page from 'Fruits of America' pp 361. (1848)

Oct 4, 2016

Shit got real, yo.

That's so true, vintage headline. So true.

In the twelve months (!) since my last post, things have really gone down hill for my flesh ship. I'd posted about how proud I was to be a healthy fat person, but that I was going to do something about it. Well, try as I might, something was not done. And with dire consequences. Okay, so not completely dire, but certainly shit house, certainly not good, certainly creating a perfect storm in my plus-sized-teacup. In the past few months I have had medical diagnosis reveal the poor state of my health, and really highlight the neglect I have done to my body. My first thought is to not share this news with the interweb, as it is a poor reflection on me (in my mind, anyway.), on how I have cared for my soul temple, of the lack of progress I have made.

This fellow was featured in yet another diet proclamation post of mine.*

So what's the DL, you ask? I have been diagnosed with hypertension AND type 2 diabetes. That's right, in 12 months I have managed to travel down the proverbial creek without a paddle- a creek diverging into Willy Wonka's chocolate river. I am now medicated, and awaiting an appointment with a diabetes educator. Also today I had an appointment with an exercise physiologist. (More about that in two shakes of a lambs tail.) My GP has discussed the long term effects of having these illnesses, and yes, the consequences are in fact dire. Oddly enough, I want to keep my eyesight, and all of my limbs. Something has to give. (Oh, and the thought of daily injections down the track sucks balls, so I'm going to work my way to not going down that road. After having daily injections for blood clots I can safely say it is not something high on my future 'to-do' list.)
Fortunately/unfortunately I cannot put my head between my legs.

Recently a friend had gastric surgery, and I have to admit, I am slightly jealous of her. If only I was placed in a situation where I was forced to limit my food intake. That would be awesome! My Mum told me about a segment she saw on TV about free lap band surgery, and my first thought was 'Sign me up!'. But it's not that simple for me. Simply reducing the size of my stomach would not change the psychological aspect to my eating. It would not change my taste buds, it would not change my attitudes.

Food is a big part of my identity. It is a big part of my very core. I love eating, dreaming, cooking and researching food. I love eating at family Christmases and big birthdays. I watch cake decorating YouTube videos while I drink diet shakes. (I'm not sure that this does not indeed double the calories of said shakes...) I love to eat. A banded stomach would take away my ability to over do it for these big events, and I wonder, with such a love of food, is this a quality of life issue? (And indeed, would I manage to eat so much as to undo the effects of the surgery?) Is my best bet to take away my ability to over do it going to solve the problem? I'm tending towards no. I think I simply (or not so simply?) have to go back to the concept that I have mentioned before- calories in versus calories out. I can restrict my calories as though I had my stomach size reduced. Or even to close to that. Or still yet, live on a restricted diet that does not even come close to a stapling or banding, but nevertheless equates to weight loss. Calories in, calories out.

The reality...
That picture right there, that's me, 10 kilos ago. In my mind, with that 10 kilos gone, I still look the same. I cannot see any change- yet. I am sure it is coming. I have found myself looking at weight loss success stories on Instagram and Facebook to fuel my motivation. That will be me, in mere months, the after shot. Yes, it's hard now, but it's going to get easier. Slowly I will adjust to the changes I am making for my body within my mind also, and it won't always be so hard.

The handsomest pupper in Melbournetown.

A couple of months ago this handsome fellow came into our lives after the sad passing of ancient Tess. We weren't looking for a new puppy just at that time, but how could we say no to such a beautiful face? And Karl (he was originally named after a Pokemon character, that, oddly enough, did not stay when he moved in with us.) has been a god-send. I get out of the house because of Karl. Twice a day, I move my body, and all because of him. I think that if he weren't in our lives I would not be walking at all, because I am indeed a lazy person. But look at that face! How could you say no to that face if he wanted to go for a walk?! (It is simply not possible, I have tried, resistance is futile.)

I like to think that the stick figure on the left is bending his back in an inhuman way to start his laser fire.

So today was my first appointment with an exercise physiologist. I was really reserved about the whole thing, as I am wary of people who like to exercise. I actually had a great appointment! He was really encouraging about the positive changes I have made and successes I have had to date. He told me all about how exercise causes our muscles to burn that stray sugar, and opens up the valves or arteries or whatever. (I was listening, but there was a lot to take in, some of it has slipped out already, so if you know the correct idea, please let me know.) He gave me a stretchy band for resistance training, and some helpful stick figures to remember techniques. He didn't make me feel like a fatty (probably my biggest concern), and he acknowledged that not everyone has the exercise bug. But he did give me some good reasons to move my body, so I'm going to listen.

So I'm not yet brave enough to say how much I weighed in at before I got back on track. But here's a hint, when my kilos fall back into the 'under 100' phase, I will tell you my starting weight. But not before. Oh the shame. I managed this time around to get to the heaviest I have ever been. I do not plan on going back there.

I've set up an incentive, too. Not only will we be rewarded with a happy, sleepy puppy, and a new figure, but also I will be rewarded financially. I have a savings account entitled 'Vintage Weight Loss Rewards', which, as the name alludes to, is for vintage style clothing. I'm saving $10 per kilo lost to go toward a new wardrobe. I have always loved vintage styling, but my clothing purchases have simply been the cheapest options (thank you Kmart) of clothing that fit. In the past I would make my clothing purchases telling myself, 'This is just until you lose weight, so it doesn't matter what you wear, really'. And I got so wrapped up in hating my body that I didn't give a flying fuck (French totally manditory descriptor.) whether I looked good or not. I simply needed to be clothed. Sure, I picked out some lovely plus sized tops, but I wasn't about defining my style, I was about hiding my bumps. I have really assessed my attitudes to fashion and clothing, and discovered that they were not terms that were synonymous with my identity. But they totally should be! Back when I blogged every day in May 2014 Sunday (Sally Harris) of LoveHappyDaily (which no longer exists, So sad!) did a guest post on my blog about refining her style. I was super inspired! I set up my own Pinterest board, and have since been pinning fashions that emulate the vibe I'm going for, future, fitter me is going for. I've also pinned a bunch of sewing projects I want to get on to. So every dollar I save is going toward vintage style dresses and accessories, fabric and sewing patterns. I'm going to embrace my body and express my style! And I have quite a few kilos to lose, so that equates to more dosh in the fabulous kitty.

A snapshot of my Style Inspiration board. Do you think I am having a love affair with stripes**? <3

I'm not aiming for a number. I'm aiming for healthy. My gynaecologist, endocrinologist and cardiologist (basically all of the 'ists' out there) have all said that losing a little bit of weight, just a tiny bit, will lead to great outcomes for health. So being 10 kilos down I think is a great start! I have lost the little bit, but I am still having to take medication. I can do better than that! Maybe one day I will be medication free? Maybe I won't, too. Who knows what the future holds? But I know that I am pretty firmly cemented on this journey now. I haven't given up chocolate (I suppose I will find out if I have to when I see the diabetes educator) but I have said a firm 'goodbye' to eating because of self loathing. I am now self loving. I'm doing this for me. I'm doing this for better outcomes. I'm on the path, and I'm proud of what I have achieved so far, and excited to see what I can achieve in the future!

I've got this.

*February first, 2015. Read about my initial proclamation of diet and lifestyle changes here
**I'm a firm believer that even fatties can wear horizontal stripes. I live by the stripe! 

Sep 7, 2015

I am fat.

I am fat. Capital F- capital A- capital T. Not only am I fat, I'm not good at getting thinner. I love food. I love food until I feel full (too full), I love baked goods, and I'm a mean home cook. I've made many attempts to reverse the fat over the years. Some would say I have a problem with willpower. To that I would say "yes, my friend, I do!" I also eat for comfort. I eat as a social activity- I catch up with friends and do brunch, because brunch is awesome.

I've flirted with the fat acceptance movement. "Why yes, I'm fat! Yes, I'm healthy!" I've been proud of the fact that my body is not showing signs of being brought down by this fatness, proud that my cholesterol, blood sugar and blood pressure results come back as fine. But for how long? I take medication that can cause increase cholesterol levels, and I have seen some iffy results in the past, but further tests have shown a healthy result. How long will this continue, though? How many more slices or raisin toast will it take to kick my results over the unhealthy abyss? Further to this, babies might be in our future. I want to decrease the risks my obesity poses on an unborn child, to decrease the risks of complication for myself, too, as baby making is riskier for the overweight woman.

Those of you reading along at home might note that this is not the first time I have made this fat-loss declaration. I don't plan on changing the method for which to lose weight, but I do hope to change the psychological aspect of the journey. So the song hasn't changed, but the tune has to. I have one simple goal. I want to decrease the size of my pregnant-not pregnant belly. As it decreases of course other areas will also, too, which will be a win! So I'm starting again. Me and my tummy are going to rock this shit. And if I fail, I will start over again. I'm always going to have a butt that goes for miles. I'm always going to be curvy. Hell, I may even always be overweight. But I can do it in a healthier way.

I'm starting again.

Image credit: The Library of Congress, via Flickr